The Library

Back in the day (I cannot believe I am saying this as if I am a thousand years old) people go to libraries to read books and do research. Pile of books on the table and perhaps a pencil on one side of the ear. Nowadays people come to libraries for the free wifi access to read e-books in their macs, minis, tablets or ultrabooks. Time has changed and it will continue changing. I am still a girl with my ball point pen and a paper notebook. I prefer reading from an actual book, smelling it and feeling every pages. Dog ears here and there. Highlighting words and sentences I love.

Ah the library. How I miss the smell and feel of it.

On Changing the World...

Someone recently told me, "do you actually believe that changing the world is as easy as ABC?"

This was a comment someone made right in the middle of my sharing my follow on project as well as that of my cohorts when we head back home after this fellowship program in the United States.

The person who made the comment is actually a new friend that I have been talking to for almost a year now.  She and I are still cool and still talking, but that comment has haunted me for days now.

You see, I am currently on a 4 months fellowship program in the United States sponsored by the State Department's Bureau of Education and Cultural Affairs.  All 61 of us from 28 developing countries all over the world.  The goal is for us to learn more on community development and share developing communities perspective to US-based non-profit organizations or as we call them at home, non governmental organizations.  All expenses paid for by the good taxpaying people of the United States, and in return, we will implement a follow-on project in our respective communities when we head back to our respective countries. 

For my part, I am proposing to organize a self sustaining youth leaders' group in my home town that would initiate mass media information and education campaigns on environmental conservation and sustainable extraction of natural resources in their respective village communities.  My cohort in the fellowship that actually ignited this comment is proposing to train and mentor female politicians towards gender equality for conflict resolutions or something like that.  We have yet to finalize the wordings and the objectives and the goals as we are still in the proposing stage.

I took that comment personal, because unlike some of us, my follow on project is personal to me.  I am not applying for any masters or Ph.D and I do not wish to be credited for this to decorate my professional resume.  This is personal to me because I am part of my community and no matter where I am or will be, I will always come home. So perhaps it is but apt for me to just speak for myself in regards to a gut-wrenching one liner statement, "do you actually believe that changing the world is as easy as ABC?"

It had me thinking. 

I have been trying so hard to find an answer and all I could come up with are bad ideas.  Then it hit me, it really is just about finding the best bad idea.

At the risk of sounding self-glorifying or oblivious I cannot dare say, "I have a dream" as one Martin Luther King once said in an attempt to break the wall that divided the United States not too long ago.  I cannot dare say, "the youth is the hope of our motherland", as enunciated by our National Hero, Jose Rizal in an attempt to awaken the minds of the Filipino people to stand up and say we have had enough to our Spanish conquistadors.  I would sound hypocritical and delusional to some extent if I say that changing the world is my objective. There is a chance I would lose some friends every time this one liner should come up and I would feel the twinge, because indeed I have a dream and I believe that the youth is the hope of our motherland, as foolish as it may sound for some.

It is not about changing the world, because indeed we cannot change the world over night and truly it is not as easy as perhaps teaching a child the ABC.  As I reflect on it, I sincerely believe in my heart that it is about at least trying to change how we think in an effort to make a difference. 

In a poverty stricken community where education is but a star in the sky, the concept of climate change is but a story, and what a strange and ridiculous story it can be to tell its effects to the people whose community is built on houses on stilts since time immemorial.

Yes, this wont be easy and it is crazy, but perhaps someone as silly and crazy like me who have nothing to lose may initiate a move like this. I have realized in all of my failures in life and dreams, I have not really failed because I have tried despite the odds.  This time amidst all odds I will only fail if I quit trying.

I believe in my heart that all it takes is making that ripple effect to a small group of people, and hopefully the ripple can create waves of change eventually.  On changing the world as we see it, my best bet is not in actually changing, but in changing eventually.

Of Orange Tulips and Budding Friendships

Some people say things happen for a reason and that something happens at the precise time it is meant to happen. I used to believe in many different things but I guess I grew up and I have grown out of it.

Since arriving in the United States for my fellowship program my daily morning routine has always been about a five minute walk from my apartment building to my host organization's office and everyday I pass by this quaint little house turned into a cafe called "Daughters Cafe" that serves breakfast, lunch and evening desserts. I never bothered to check it out because I like my usual routine and I guess I have never really been curious to check it out.

This morning however became different and I was really going to submit to the loneliness I have been feeling lately being a foreigner and not having friends to hang out with. Then something happened.

My host supervisor invited me to tag along with him to a meeting and we left in a jiff. An hour in the meeting I was bored to wits and I realized we have online classes on Thursdays so I excused myself, left the meeting and walked back to the office. There I realized I left my office keys inside when we left an hour hurriedly for the meeting. So I decided to just pick up my laptop at my apartment and just camp out at the office building hallway for the class since I could still pick up the office wifi anyway. Arriving at my apartment building I realized my apartment keys are attached to the office keys. So I have just been walking around in circles for nothing. I figured I could go back to the meeting and ask my host supervisor for his keys but at this point I was really thirsty and it was almost noon. As I walked back again towards the office I then became curious as to what lunches Daughters Cafe have to offer. So I went in.

No other customers, so I had corners to choose from to sit and have my lunch. I asked for the menu and ordered a panini sandwich plate of bacon lettuce and tomato, and a diet coke. The lady left to have my order prepared then almost quickly she returned with a glass of iced water with a straw and commented about the weather. She seemingly assumed I am just from here, in Reno. I smiled and said this is going to be my first snowy winter when it comes. She then assumed again that I must be from the Bay Area. I said, no I am from the Philippines. She said "oh that's nice, my cousin is married to a Filipina". She was about to say something else to me but was interrupted when a UPS guy came in and delivered a package. At this point, an older looking lady came out with my order. The younger lady said to me, "this is a package of flowers for her (pointing to the older looking lady) from the boyfriend who wants to apologize" and then I started laughing because I was thinking to myself, I really didn't have to know that. But the older looking woman opened up to me as if we were friends for a long time. She said, "he really went too far this time", and started opening the box to take the flowers out. As she was doing that, she somewhat muttered to herself but was actually talking to me saying,"I have lived my life contentedly and if a man that I welcome into my life does not make me better or nourish the life I already have, then there is no need for us to be together anymore". I thought to myself, that was the most beautiful relationship advise that I have ever heard.

The flowers were orange tulips and we had a "girl talk" about flowers and men and how they think everything will be okay with a bouquet of flowers.

We talked and laughed and exchanged stories. It turns out Barbara is an anthropologist by profession and has the passion for cooking so she and her daughters decided to open up their house and turn it into a cafe. She opened up some more about her lovelife and her daughter jokingly informed me Mom is uncomfortable calling the man her boyfriend because she's too old for that but rather prefers the man to be called her male friend or gentleman friend. We shared a good laugh. Barbara commented on my English and said that this was why they assumed I am just from here. I told them why I am here and what I want to do while I am here for the rest of my stay. We exchanged cards and Barbara said she will call me whenever she is free and she will drive me around to check out the national parks and to show me around the mountains and beautiful places in Nevada she had left her home state for.

I paid for my lunch and left with a smile, for I now have a place to go to whenever I feel like sharing and just chatting the hours away.

It is a nice feeling to know more about the meanings of each flowers and what orange tulips represent and how what seems to be trivial things can be the beginning of a budding friendship.

All About My Home: Tawi-Tawi

When people asks whereabouts in the Philippines are you from and I try to give a detailed information, I always feel like I didn't get the message across and I see the looks in their faces almost like saying, "where's that?".  So, with the limited resources I have brought with me here in the United States, I have managed to make this short video clip to tell you all about my home, in Tawi-Tawi. 

Home

Growing up in a small island community in the southernmost regions of the Philippines was tough. We had no electricity and we rely on rainwater to drink. But as time went by, things inevitably changed too. We now have electricity and Internet access but we still expect power cuts from time to time, almost most of the time it can go for days without it. And still, we rely on rainwater to drink, which is ironic because we literally live around water.

Luckily my parents could afford to send me to the City to complete my education, and boy was I so happy to have left the island after my high school graduation.  Enjoying my new friends and the city life, I only visited home for Christmas holidays.  Until I had a corporate job doing corporate things in a corporate world and found myself feeling empty and one email changed my life completely.

Someone put a good word for me and the University Professor at my home town asked if I would like to join his team that he was putting together to implement a project on environmental conservation but it would entail going back home, he said and the pay is considerably small compared to my corporate salary.  I thanked him for considering me and I said I was flying back home.

On the plane I thought to myself, what was I thinking giving up my city life and going home to where there’s no constant electricity and the fact that I might have to climb a coconut tree just to get a cellular signal.  Who does that?

My first job was to organize an Essay Writing Contest among high school students as part of our Information and Education Campaigns Program and the theme was: “What Can I Do To Make My Community A Better Place”.

As I started to read their essays I realized I have found that niche where I truly belong and I did not have to go to cities and places far far away. I just needed to be home.

Beyond the Invisible Wall

Today I volunteered at a support group with an assignment in mind, to improve my person to person communication skills and ultimately improve my networking skills. I chose a venue beyond the usual but I knew it was going to be mutually beneficial anyway.

So there I was with my community mentor, and instead of serving food and getting chairs for everyone, I was invited to join in and I was warmly welcomed.

What happened next was something I did not expect. I was included and I felt included.

It is a nice feeling to be in a group where one gets a chance to be listened to and to listen without prejudices and judgments. I have realized too how much goodness a hug can do, and from a stranger.

Sometimes it's all we need for all the ups and downs and the merry-go-rounds.

So today, I am more thankful than I was yesterday.

I wish I took a still photograph to remember their faces, but it was too personal and I really don't need a still shot to remember them. The experience was worth the while and my guess is I have benefited more than I will ever realize.

Has my communication skills improved? You tell me, what do you want to talk about? I am here to listen and when it's my turn to speak, I hope you'll listen too.

Until Then

Eventually all the pieces will fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and hope for the best that everything happens for a reason.

Out of The Sea Into the Tree

Out of the dry cold mountain night that covered me
a mirage of the ocean I see
out of the mountains and my sheer folly
it is the mermaid's cry that beckons me

Whilst some would always choose to live in the valley
I would always choose to live in the sea
but I thank mother earth for the chance to see
nature as lovely as the Bristlecone trees.

Hello Reno

"...Wing is written on your feet
Your achilles' heel
Is the tendency to dream
But you've know that from the beginning
You didn't have to go so far
You didn't have to go..."

So goes the lyrics from the song "All the Way to Reno (You're Gonna Be A Star)" from a band called REM and it's been playing on my ipod since my arrival here a week ago. I am here for 4 months on a fellowship program with a fancy title. The US government is paying for my being here and yes thank you to the good American people.

I am here to experience and gain a first world perspective on community development. So I thought I'd compare and contrast my small world in a small island town in the southernmost frontier of the Philippines to the vast planes and follies of the State of Nevada, Unites States of America.

No, I am not gonna be a star but yes my achilles' heel is my tendency to dream. Did I have to go this far? That is a million dollar question. But right now, let me tell you about Reno.

Reno is packaging itself as "the biggest little city in the world". I am not sure what it truly means but I am guessing it wants to feel big (compared to its neighbor Las Vegas) in spite of its being just a small city (again in contrast to its neighbor Las Vegas). 

Somehow I see myself like Reno. I dream and think big but I am just a small town girl from a small town island so small that my host said to me once, "I am looking at the map of the Philippines, where is your island?"

Sometimes I keep forgetting I am already in America. I switch off anything that uses energy when I am not around that the apartment building's handyman kept telling me to leave the AC on so it won't be stuffy when I return to my apartment. A friend in England now thinks I am obsessing about toilet rolls because I keep bitching about how much trees must be cut to have different papers for different human body parts, not to mention their kitchen use. My friends back at home are already making fun of me for wanting a water scoop to use in the toilet and forgetting what it is called in English (a "dipper"!).

Where I come from, water is more valuable than gold. In fact, what we use for laundry we reuse it to flush the toilet. We save rain water to drink. We save rain water to wash, bathe and everything else water is needed for. Ironic isn't it? We are surrounded by water but it's not potable. Think "Water World" the movie. That's where I come from.

In Reno, I have a bath tub. I get to choose hot or cold water in a push of a button. I still haven't had a bath that I didn't feel guilty about a luxurious bath because I know my 83 year old mother at home has to carry a bucket of water to the bathroom just so she could wash herself everyday. It is not because people are poor where I come from (although I am not saying we are rich) but it's just is. That's just the state of our little world.

In the grand scale of things I think I am lucky to experience different worlds at the same time. 

So, hello Reno! I hope you too are ready for me.

Setting Foot in the Land of the Free

Drenched from escaping the heavy downpour and howling wind in Metro Manila (Philippines' capital), I found myself fanning my shoes, my socks, my shirt and my hair awaiting for any flight announcement of whether or not our flight to Nagoya, Japan en route to Washington DC was going to be canceled. I arrived at the airport 6 hours before the flight for fear of getting caught up in the flood that truly reminded me of a bad experience in 2009, the last Sunday of my bar exams when Typhoon "Ondoy" hit Metro Manila. This was codenamed "Gener" and "Gener" as opposed to "Ondoy", came with a howling wind.

My long hours of waiting in a stuffy old international airport that didn't have any dryers in the restrooms was not in vain.  My colleagues and I met at the lounging area and we were able to fly as scheduled.

It was a long and tedious flight from Manila.  The crying baby on the flight to Nagoya made it even worse.

Almost 24 hours later, we arrived at Reagan Airport in Washington DC looking like we took a shrimping boat to America. We were stinky, haggard and hungry.

Still jet lagged, we had our first session the morning after.

61 participants from 28 countries from South America, Africa, Europe and Asia and the Pacific.  We will stay and live in different communities in different States here in America for 4 months to share, learn and exchange insights on community development under the Education and Cultural Affairs of the State Department of the United States implemented by IREX (International Research Exchanges).  We hope to be able to bring back some new experiences and pay if forward to our respective communities at home.

The sun does not set until about 8:30 in North America and it rises at 6 in the morning because it is the summer season here.  This makes it even harder to sleep at night.

One day I will look back at this year 2012 and say, once in my life, I had the chance to experience 2 summers in a year. 

10 (Counting Down to New Adventures)

I usually count to 10 when I restart my internet modem, or whenever I feel like lighting a cigarette or when I feel like making an emotional decision. It has become a habit that I have recently acquired during my international volunteering stint in India. Patience is a virtue I do not have if one would ask my friends. What it really means to me is that my attention span is very narrow. But my attitude is a work in progress and with the kind of work that I do in my community, patience is not too far behind.

10 months ago, I found myself at a crossroad again when I returned home from my international volunteering. Questions like What to do next? Where do I go from here? cropped up every time and sleep almost became an enemy.

Sometime in October last year, I got an email from my mentor in community development, a professor and environmental scientist, asking me if I were interested in doing a consultancy work for a project he was about to initiate in my hometown in Bongao, Tawi-Tawi. This time, it was something to do with the conservation efforts for Bud Bongao (Bongao Peak or Mount Bongao) and its flora and fauna.  I thought it was different from the Coastal Resources and Fisheries Conservation Project we did before and I was having second thoughts because of my inexperience but upon my mentor's persuasion, I said yes. Sometimes all a person needs to boost confidence is a little encouragement, a short note saying, "you can do it" is all it takes to take that unfamiliar path.  So I flew in and started my work in the communities at the foot of the mountain, interviewing people and reestablishing my roots again. I had a good time and forgot about my worries on my career path. It was an adventure I enjoyed while making contributions to my community.

Around about the same month, my childhood friend sent me an email about Community Solutions Program, he thought it might keep my hands full and divert my attention to something equally fruitful. It surely did. That very night I wrote my essays for my application and that was the beginning of my participation in this year's Community Solutions Program under the United States Education and Cultural Affairs implemented by the International Research and Exchanges or IREX.

10 days from today, I will embark on a new adventure in Reno, Nevada to learn the tools and methodologies of Resource Management Plans being implemented by my US host organization, the Great Basin Resource Watch and to be mentored by an American professor and environmentalist in community participation and resource management is something that I am truly looking forward to experiencing.  I hope to be able to learn and understand the cultural, social and spiritual values  and aspects of the Native Americans' environmental conservation efforts in the Great Basin regions of the State of Nevada and be able to share to them my experiences in the Coastal communities of my island province in Tawi-Tawi, Philippines. In return, I shall be able to pay it forward by sharing what I have learned at improving what I, and my colleagues and friends can do in our community in Bongao, Tawi-Tawi, Philippines, to promote ecotourism and sustainable resource management through volunteerism. That against the odds that I have faced in the past in my efforts as a volunteer, I am grateful for this opportunity to make a difference.

I have never set my foot in American soil before and everything I know about America is based on the movies and television series I follow.  It is going to be an exciting (and hopefully) a fruitful journey ahead.

#special thanks to FILEMON G. ROMERO, Ph.D, WWF-Philippines