The Library

Back in the day (I cannot believe I am saying this as if I am a thousand years old) people go to libraries to read books and do research. Pile of books on the table and perhaps a pencil on one side of the ear. Nowadays people come to libraries for the free wifi access to read e-books in their macs, minis, tablets or ultrabooks. Time has changed and it will continue changing. I am still a girl with my ball point pen and a paper notebook. I prefer reading from an actual book, smelling it and feeling every pages. Dog ears here and there. Highlighting words and sentences I love.

Ah the library. How I miss the smell and feel of it.

On Changing the World...

Someone recently told me, "do you actually believe that changing the world is as easy as ABC?"

This was a comment someone made right in the middle of my sharing my follow on project as well as that of my cohorts when we head back home after this fellowship program in the United States.

The person who made the comment is actually a new friend that I have been talking to for almost a year now.  She and I are still cool and still talking, but that comment has haunted me for days now.

You see, I am currently on a 4 months fellowship program in the United States sponsored by the State Department's Bureau of Education and Cultural Affairs.  All 61 of us from 28 developing countries all over the world.  The goal is for us to learn more on community development and share developing communities perspective to US-based non-profit organizations or as we call them at home, non governmental organizations.  All expenses paid for by the good taxpaying people of the United States, and in return, we will implement a follow-on project in our respective communities when we head back to our respective countries. 

For my part, I am proposing to organize a self sustaining youth leaders' group in my home town that would initiate mass media information and education campaigns on environmental conservation and sustainable extraction of natural resources in their respective village communities.  My cohort in the fellowship that actually ignited this comment is proposing to train and mentor female politicians towards gender equality for conflict resolutions or something like that.  We have yet to finalize the wordings and the objectives and the goals as we are still in the proposing stage.

I took that comment personal, because unlike some of us, my follow on project is personal to me.  I am not applying for any masters or Ph.D and I do not wish to be credited for this to decorate my professional resume.  This is personal to me because I am part of my community and no matter where I am or will be, I will always come home. So perhaps it is but apt for me to just speak for myself in regards to a gut-wrenching one liner statement, "do you actually believe that changing the world is as easy as ABC?"

It had me thinking. 

I have been trying so hard to find an answer and all I could come up with are bad ideas.  Then it hit me, it really is just about finding the best bad idea.

At the risk of sounding self-glorifying or oblivious I cannot dare say, "I have a dream" as one Martin Luther King once said in an attempt to break the wall that divided the United States not too long ago.  I cannot dare say, "the youth is the hope of our motherland", as enunciated by our National Hero, Jose Rizal in an attempt to awaken the minds of the Filipino people to stand up and say we have had enough to our Spanish conquistadors.  I would sound hypocritical and delusional to some extent if I say that changing the world is my objective. There is a chance I would lose some friends every time this one liner should come up and I would feel the twinge, because indeed I have a dream and I believe that the youth is the hope of our motherland, as foolish as it may sound for some.

It is not about changing the world, because indeed we cannot change the world over night and truly it is not as easy as perhaps teaching a child the ABC.  As I reflect on it, I sincerely believe in my heart that it is about at least trying to change how we think in an effort to make a difference. 

In a poverty stricken community where education is but a star in the sky, the concept of climate change is but a story, and what a strange and ridiculous story it can be to tell its effects to the people whose community is built on houses on stilts since time immemorial.

Yes, this wont be easy and it is crazy, but perhaps someone as silly and crazy like me who have nothing to lose may initiate a move like this. I have realized in all of my failures in life and dreams, I have not really failed because I have tried despite the odds.  This time amidst all odds I will only fail if I quit trying.

I believe in my heart that all it takes is making that ripple effect to a small group of people, and hopefully the ripple can create waves of change eventually.  On changing the world as we see it, my best bet is not in actually changing, but in changing eventually.

Of Orange Tulips and Budding Friendships

Some people say things happen for a reason and that something happens at the precise time it is meant to happen. I used to believe in many different things but I guess I grew up and I have grown out of it.

Since arriving in the United States for my fellowship program my daily morning routine has always been about a five minute walk from my apartment building to my host organization's office and everyday I pass by this quaint little house turned into a cafe called "Daughters Cafe" that serves breakfast, lunch and evening desserts. I never bothered to check it out because I like my usual routine and I guess I have never really been curious to check it out.

This morning however became different and I was really going to submit to the loneliness I have been feeling lately being a foreigner and not having friends to hang out with. Then something happened.

My host supervisor invited me to tag along with him to a meeting and we left in a jiff. An hour in the meeting I was bored to wits and I realized we have online classes on Thursdays so I excused myself, left the meeting and walked back to the office. There I realized I left my office keys inside when we left an hour hurriedly for the meeting. So I decided to just pick up my laptop at my apartment and just camp out at the office building hallway for the class since I could still pick up the office wifi anyway. Arriving at my apartment building I realized my apartment keys are attached to the office keys. So I have just been walking around in circles for nothing. I figured I could go back to the meeting and ask my host supervisor for his keys but at this point I was really thirsty and it was almost noon. As I walked back again towards the office I then became curious as to what lunches Daughters Cafe have to offer. So I went in.

No other customers, so I had corners to choose from to sit and have my lunch. I asked for the menu and ordered a panini sandwich plate of bacon lettuce and tomato, and a diet coke. The lady left to have my order prepared then almost quickly she returned with a glass of iced water with a straw and commented about the weather. She seemingly assumed I am just from here, in Reno. I smiled and said this is going to be my first snowy winter when it comes. She then assumed again that I must be from the Bay Area. I said, no I am from the Philippines. She said "oh that's nice, my cousin is married to a Filipina". She was about to say something else to me but was interrupted when a UPS guy came in and delivered a package. At this point, an older looking lady came out with my order. The younger lady said to me, "this is a package of flowers for her (pointing to the older looking lady) from the boyfriend who wants to apologize" and then I started laughing because I was thinking to myself, I really didn't have to know that. But the older looking woman opened up to me as if we were friends for a long time. She said, "he really went too far this time", and started opening the box to take the flowers out. As she was doing that, she somewhat muttered to herself but was actually talking to me saying,"I have lived my life contentedly and if a man that I welcome into my life does not make me better or nourish the life I already have, then there is no need for us to be together anymore". I thought to myself, that was the most beautiful relationship advise that I have ever heard.

The flowers were orange tulips and we had a "girl talk" about flowers and men and how they think everything will be okay with a bouquet of flowers.

We talked and laughed and exchanged stories. It turns out Barbara is an anthropologist by profession and has the passion for cooking so she and her daughters decided to open up their house and turn it into a cafe. She opened up some more about her lovelife and her daughter jokingly informed me Mom is uncomfortable calling the man her boyfriend because she's too old for that but rather prefers the man to be called her male friend or gentleman friend. We shared a good laugh. Barbara commented on my English and said that this was why they assumed I am just from here. I told them why I am here and what I want to do while I am here for the rest of my stay. We exchanged cards and Barbara said she will call me whenever she is free and she will drive me around to check out the national parks and to show me around the mountains and beautiful places in Nevada she had left her home state for.

I paid for my lunch and left with a smile, for I now have a place to go to whenever I feel like sharing and just chatting the hours away.

It is a nice feeling to know more about the meanings of each flowers and what orange tulips represent and how what seems to be trivial things can be the beginning of a budding friendship.

All About My Home: Tawi-Tawi

When people asks whereabouts in the Philippines are you from and I try to give a detailed information, I always feel like I didn't get the message across and I see the looks in their faces almost like saying, "where's that?".  So, with the limited resources I have brought with me here in the United States, I have managed to make this short video clip to tell you all about my home, in Tawi-Tawi. 

Home

Growing up in a small island community in the southernmost regions of the Philippines was tough. We had no electricity and we rely on rainwater to drink. But as time went by, things inevitably changed too. We now have electricity and Internet access but we still expect power cuts from time to time, almost most of the time it can go for days without it. And still, we rely on rainwater to drink, which is ironic because we literally live around water.

Luckily my parents could afford to send me to the City to complete my education, and boy was I so happy to have left the island after my high school graduation.  Enjoying my new friends and the city life, I only visited home for Christmas holidays.  Until I had a corporate job doing corporate things in a corporate world and found myself feeling empty and one email changed my life completely.

Someone put a good word for me and the University Professor at my home town asked if I would like to join his team that he was putting together to implement a project on environmental conservation but it would entail going back home, he said and the pay is considerably small compared to my corporate salary.  I thanked him for considering me and I said I was flying back home.

On the plane I thought to myself, what was I thinking giving up my city life and going home to where there’s no constant electricity and the fact that I might have to climb a coconut tree just to get a cellular signal.  Who does that?

My first job was to organize an Essay Writing Contest among high school students as part of our Information and Education Campaigns Program and the theme was: “What Can I Do To Make My Community A Better Place”.

As I started to read their essays I realized I have found that niche where I truly belong and I did not have to go to cities and places far far away. I just needed to be home.

Beyond the Invisible Wall

Today I volunteered at a support group with an assignment in mind, to improve my person to person communication skills and ultimately improve my networking skills. I chose a venue beyond the usual but I knew it was going to be mutually beneficial anyway.

So there I was with my community mentor, and instead of serving food and getting chairs for everyone, I was invited to join in and I was warmly welcomed.

What happened next was something I did not expect. I was included and I felt included.

It is a nice feeling to be in a group where one gets a chance to be listened to and to listen without prejudices and judgments. I have realized too how much goodness a hug can do, and from a stranger.

Sometimes it's all we need for all the ups and downs and the merry-go-rounds.

So today, I am more thankful than I was yesterday.

I wish I took a still photograph to remember their faces, but it was too personal and I really don't need a still shot to remember them. The experience was worth the while and my guess is I have benefited more than I will ever realize.

Has my communication skills improved? You tell me, what do you want to talk about? I am here to listen and when it's my turn to speak, I hope you'll listen too.

Until Then

Eventually all the pieces will fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and hope for the best that everything happens for a reason.